I am so close to breaking down...

But I have to pull myself together...

Thipa break the bad news to me today..

I am feeling nauseous since I woke up today for don't know what reason!

Its bout a friend of mine whom I used to spend my time with when I was in lower secondary and well..she's very very sick right now. I have not heard from her since we spoke to each other in front of Kausi's house before I go for my classes. That time she just went through an operation and she told me it was a small thing so I thought owh..fine then, she will be healthy enough to go out after that. But things got worse now. The tumour can be seen growing again and the doctor found a lymph node somewhere near her throat..

Anyway, I can't remember what Thipa told me after I heard that growth word from her. My mind was buzzing and I let her words float in my mind and it was as if I was too shockedto listen to her after that. But I managed to pull myself together on time to get more information from her bout that friend of mine. Apparently she's having a high fever now and she had to go through blood test and some other test to see if that growth is cancer or something else. Her mom called Thipa and asked her to spread the words to her friends who are close to her which is obviously her old girlfriends.

You see...that girl has been one of the girl whom I spend a lot of my time with three years back and we had been inseparable since that day we met in the home tuition we went. We used to be in this group with the three other girls and as we grew up we somehow drifted apart. Louisa who was in the group shifted to Kedah, that girl, Nicole, Thipa and I began to drift apart from each other since I stop going for that tuition and since I start gettinginvolve in a lot of other stuff. However, we still call each other out for girlfriends outings whenever we have the time which is obviously very rare since Louisa is not around in Klang, Nicole has her stuff to do, Thipa too, and well...I always have no time.

Hearing that from Thipa I can't help feeling a pang of regrets within me for being such an ignorant friend. She was one of my closest girlfriend and she will still be one of my closest girlfriend though we didn't get to keep in touch with each other often. She totally slipped off from my mind since I am so caught up with my school stuff and my packed schedule.

Funny isn't it...after getting to know that she's not well or frankly she's very sick right now I can't help cursing myself for being so selfish. I didn't send her any text messages for months since I didn't receive any from her so I thought she must be pretty busy with her school stuff and I thought it'll be awkward if I'm the one who start texting her before receiving a text messages from her. And I somehow thinks she won't need me or some rubbish!


So sorry Chris for not being there for you all these while. I know you've been keeping that from us as you don't want us to be worry bout you. I guess we'll have to leave our worries to the One above us now..